Reacting to Illness, Part 3 of 3

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. -Voltaire

ELEVEN REACTIONS to news of serious illness (part 3)

"I always thought I could turn to my faith, but I'm not sure what that means anymore."

"I'm angry at God, but I was taught such feelings are bad."

"I feel closer to God than I've ever felt."

"I believed God would give me strength, and now I have none."

"How could God let this happen?"

Living with a serious illness can affect your spiritual beliefs. It may make them stronger or weaker, or you may develop an entirely new interpretation of what is sacred. Many people use this experience to strengthen their spirituality. Others lose their faith altogether.

This is the time to reevaluate your beliefs. It may be the hardest work you've ever done, but it can also be the most rewarding.

"If you let her survive the surgery, I'll be a better son."

"If you don't let him suffer, I won't get mad when he's mean."

"Please, God, let them only find the cancer in one place. If they do, I'll."

You may find yourself negotiating with Whomever you pray to, hoping that by making a promise you will improve the situation. When my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, I found myself outside her operating room, negotiating, "If you let her live, I'll." Bargaining gives us a sense that we can do something. We can play a role. We can help.

"I hope he won't suffer like my pa did."

"I hope she will beat this."

"I hope we are preparing our children well enough for what might happen."

"I hope our experience can help and teach others."

As soon as I heard that my mother had cancer, I looked for reasons to hope. As long as we could get her to the right doctors, I believed she would make it, she would survive. And it's amazing why at you hope for. If my mother awoke from surgery with two lungs, it would mean there was nothing the doctors could do to help her. Until the morning of her surgery, I could not imagine ever hoping my mother would have one lung.

In the midst of even your darkest days, you may discover you have many hopes.