The Rabbi and the Centerfold
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of 'Kosher Sex,' has a combative conversation with Playboy's Miss November, Lindsey Vuolo.
LV: I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If he's my husband and we go together, I'd rather go together than let him go with his buddies.
SB: Right, but would you rather tell him "let's go together" or would you rather tell him, "I don't think that's where a married man should be?"
LV: Well, I don't think you should be there but if we're going to go together then--I mean, if it's something he really wants to go to--I would hope that he wouldn't because if we were married, what would he need to go see other women for? I mean, I read Playboy myself and it's not to look at the other girls, you know, who I'm friends with in here, it's to read mostly the articles.
SB: Yes, but do you think that's why men look at it?
LV: I think they look at it both. I mean, their first interest is, hop right open to the centerfold and then they go on. When my boyfriend and I were together, he goes, "Well, you're just stupid if you think people just read that magazine. They look at it for the pictures." I mean, when I get my Seventeen magazines, I look through the pictures and then I read the articles. I think that's just how people read magazines.
SB: Okay, but the point is that you would have no problem with your husband reading Playboy and looking at the pictures of nude women, but you would prefer that he not go to a live nude girlie joint?
LV: It wouldn't bother me if he wanted to go.
SB: But you would prefer that he not go, is that right?
LV: Yeah, I would prefer that he not.
SB: So would you also prefer that he not read Playboy?
LV: No, because it's--I mean, I know it's kind of contradictory because either way you're looking at naked women. But I mean, the stuff that you see in strip clubs is disgusting, and I don't think anything in Playboy is disgusting. I think it's very classy and very tasteful.
SB: So if it's a classy striptease joint where women just get nude without, let's say, moving around on a bar or something, that would be okay for him to go to?
SB: So it's not the fact that there are nude women that your husband is sort of leering at, it's rather the fact that it's lewd women in a sort of an unclassy place?
On being the object of men's fantasies
SB: What about if you're married to man and he's making love to you and he thinks about other women, what he's really being excited about is that he saw a woman on the street that excited him or he saw Playboy and he's thinking about those pictures? Let's say right now a man would make love to his wife tonight thinking about the pictures he saw of you? Would you find that perfectly acceptable?
LV: Well, I try not to think about that. I'm sure it happens but, I mean--
SB: What if it happened to you? What if your husband, you know--I haven't seen your pictures and, to be honest, I probably won't--but let's imagine that, you know, now you're a beautiful young woman but in 20 or 30 years time you may not be as fit and beautiful so your husband has to think about the woman he saw in Playboy that night in order to get excited and to perform? Is that acceptable to you?