The Right to Choose

According to Islam, do women have the independent right to choose their marriage partners? Can a woman be forced to marry someone against her will?

In a well-known tradition documented by Imaam Bukhari, the Prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: "A previously married woman shall not be married without being consulted and a virgin shall not be married without her consent." This statement clearly establishes the principle of the female's right to choose a marriage partner.

The decision to marry and the process of selecting a spouse are perhaps the most serious choices we makes in life. It is therefore important to consult our parents or guardians, to seek their guidance, and to consider their advice. A guardian can only intervene if there exists a strong Islamic objection--one that would be acceptable to a qadi (judge). An example of a valid Islamic objection would be a marriage to an alcoholic or to a drug dealer. Differences in culture, age, ethnicity, or nationality are never acceptable objections in Islam.

Neither the guardian nor anyone else can coerce a female to marry against her wishes, since Islam emphatically disallows forced marriages. This is clear from an incident in the life of the Prophet documented by the traditionist Nisaa'ie. The Prophet's wife `Aishah reports that a young female came to consult the Prophet, saying," My father has married me to my cousin to raise his social standing and I was forced into it." The Prophet sent for the girl's father and then in his presence gave the girl the option of remaining married or rescinding the marriage. She responded; "O Messenger of Allah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to serve a lesson to other women (that they could not be forced into a marriage)."

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