The following years were filled with many difficulties, as I tried to come to terms with what had happened. I had no Christian heritage in my family so was often confused with the process Christians call “sanctification”. Why was it wrong to do all the things I used to do to kill the pain of life? Was it wrong to be the driven, focussed person that was in the core of who I am? Why was all this climbing stuff no longer satisfying me, and how could it be wrong to pursue my own ambitions? If God made me the way I am why is He stifling all of my dreams? And yet I knew it was for my good, even when it hurt the most.
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