Dawn Eden: 'Chastity Is for Rebels'

Continued from page 1

Do you think that that is the worst thing about casual sex? That it shuts it off to the goodness of that experience?

Oh, completely. It jades you. It hardens you. One thing that I found very interesting about the television show Sex and the City is that it's surprisingly honest, in the sense that the characters are all so superficial. And they have this hard shell. Sarah Jessica Parker's character, for all her seemingly openness in her body, and in her willingness to physically let a man in, her face is pinched. And tense. And you can just see the fear, even in those characters' eyes, of really allowing a man inside.

A friend of mine who has two daughters who are in their late 20s, and they are committed to chastity. They're all very good Catholics. And they're having a terrible time finding men. Men will go out with them and then decide that, well, they're not going to have sex with them, there's no point pursuing this relationship. My friend is in despair about her daughters. She feels that they might never get married.

If you're a religious person, if you're a Christian, then you have to believe that God is the matchmaker. Having faith means that you ask God to let you exhibit all the graces that you've been given as a woman. When you do that, not only will you enjoy life more, but you will be attractive in a way that you couldn't have imagined before.

Yes, it is very hard to find men who will wait. But I know for a fact that they are out there. And the more that you despair, the more that you are not trusting God to set you up.

That said, you do have to put yourself in places where you will meet men. Doing the positive things, taking advantage of the opportunities that God sends. But if you're taking advantage of all those opportunities, and you haven't met someone, that simply means that the one person God has chosen for you hasn't come yet.

What do you think about the fact that virginity, which used to be idealized, now seems to be regarded as a burden? It's something that young girls want to get rid of as soon as they can.

I absolutely thought that my virginity was a burden. I thought of it as an albatross around my neck.

I remember when I was about 20 years old, having a makeout session with a man. At this time, I was trying to save my virginity for my true love. I knew that I tended towards depression, [and] I was afraid that if I lost my virginity to someone who wouldn't stay around, it would be shattering to me--which was rather prophetic on my part.

So I remember making out with a man, and telling him, "There's something I should tell you. I'm a virgin." And he said to me, "If you ever want to lose your virginity, don't tell the guy you're a virgin." So I know how our culture treats that.

Continued on page 3: Do guys still ask you out? »