'But Doctor, My Brother Is God'

News Item: The recent discovery of an ossuary, an ancient box used to hold human remains, seems to confirm that Jesus of Nazereth did, in fact, have a younger brother named James.

[James enters the psychologist's office and lies down on the couch.]

James: Lately I've been having this feeling that Mom loves Jesus more than me. Seems like everything he does is just perfect in her eyes--it's like she thinks the guy walks on water.

Doctor: James, it's really very common for a younger brother to have feelings of jealousy about an older brother. You just have to realize that it's in your own mind. He probably feels the same way about you. Tell me what makes you think your parents favor Jesus.

James: Well, the time that Jesus did walk on water, Mom was all "Jesus-does-miracles" this and "Jesus-does-miracles" that...

Doctor: You sound angry.

James: How would you feel if your brother was God?

Doctor: James, James, James... It's natural that a younger brother would put his brother on pedestal, but at a certain point you need to grow up and come to think of him as a peer.

James: No, really, I mean he actually is God.

Doctor: OK, I can see I'm not getting anywhere with this tack. Let me ask you this: What are your earliest memories of your parents favoring your brother?

James: Well, Mom is a very pious woman. She's a saint, really. And whenever we'd come home she'd ask us, "What good things did you do today?" And I'd always say something like, "I brought extra wood to Jebediah" and Jesus would say, "I healed a leper" or "I cured a blind man."

Puh-lease. Talk about your show-offs! Mom was too kind to actually say "Why don't you heal lepers like Jesus?" But I could tell that's what she was thinking.

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