Coping with Disappointment
Learn how Buddhism can help us to get over disappointments more easily.
BY: Tara Springett
We have all been there - we had a wish and we be believed that it had come true only to find that it was far from perfect. For example, we may think that we have found a great new job only to find that it had hidden flaws that we were unaware of when we first applied. The same may happen when we thought we have found a wonderful partner or our dream house. The most horrible disappointment is probably when we are being betrayed by a person we thought we could trust. In all these cases we will experience the acute pain of disappointment.
People respond differently to disappointment - some get very angry at the Universe or even God for letting this happen and others start blaming themselves for 'not thinking positively enough'; yet others go into victim mentality and lament the fact that they are somehow cursed with bad luck.
What has Buddhism to offer for this all too common problem? First of all, the Buddha did not make false promises. In fact, he made it a point that disappointment is an inevitable part of being human by saying that 'life is suffering' in his second noble truth. However, his advice did not stop at this rather dismal view. Buddhism is a religion about how to find deepest happiness. This happiness, the Buddha said, can be found by having a very realistic view that perfection cannot be achieved 'in the world'. However, we can achieve perfect happiness by refocussing onto our inner self in meditation and find a happiness from within that is so great that it can help to get over inevitable disappointments more quickly.
But this is not all. In Buddhism we are also taught that the world we see around us is the outcome of our previous thoughts and actions. So, if we are bitterly disappointed we have somewhere in the past made choices that led to this painful disillusionment. Usually, these choices have been deeply unconscious because nobody would knowingly choose a partner who would cheat on them or a boss who exploits them. It is therefore often impossible to pinpoint the exact thought or belief that led to our present problem.
There is however an easier way to correct the attitudes that led to our disappointment and this is to work directly with our chakras. The world that we see around us is directly linked to the state of our chakras and by changing our chakras in meditation we can radically improve our life and find far more love and happiness than we have at the moment.
Changing our chakras is easy in principle but requires patience and persistence. We simply have to visualise peace and happiness in each of our energy centres. By doing this we will achieve two things: firstly, we will feel happier in the moment and thus get over our disappointments more easily and secondly, we also start creating a world that matches the blissful state of our inner being.
To learn more about working with your chakras refer to Tara Springett's book The Five-Minute Miracle. Tara holds an M.A. in Education and has post-graduate qualifications in gestalt therapy, body awareness therapy and transpersonal therapy. She is a fully qualified and licensed psychotherapist and counselor. Tara has worked as a drugs counselor, counselor for adolescents and general psychotherapist since 1988. Tara has been a dedicated Buddhist practitioner since 1986. In 1997 she received encouragement from her Buddhist teachers to teach meditation. Tara is the author of several self-help books. She has been featured in numerous publications and has appeared on various radio and television shows in Europe and the United States. Her website is: www.taraspringett.com.