Coping with Disappointment

Learn how Buddhism can help us to get over disappointments more easily.

How to Face Your Fears

We have all been there - we had a wish and we be believed that it had come true only to find that it was far from perfect. For example, we may think that we have found a great new job only to find that it had hidden flaws that we were unaware of when we first applied. The same may happen when we thought we have found a wonderful partner or our dream house. The most horrible disappointment is probably when we are being betrayed by a person we thought we could trust. In all these cases we will experience the acute pain of disappointment.

People respond differently to disappointment - some get very angry at the Universe or even God for letting this happen and others start blaming themselves for 'not thinking positively enough'; yet others go into victim mentality and lament the fact that they are somehow cursed with bad luck.

What has Buddhism to offer for this all too common problem? First of all, the Buddha did not make false promises. In fact, he made it a point that disappointment is an inevitable part of being human by saying that 'life is suffering' in his second noble truth. However, his advice did not stop at this rather dismal view. Buddhism is a religion about how to find deepest happiness. This happiness, the Buddha said, can be found by having a very realistic view that perfection cannot be achieved 'in the world'. However, we can achieve perfect happiness by refocussing onto our inner self in meditation and find a happiness from within that is so great that it can help to  get over inevitable disappointments more quickly.

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But this is not all.  In Buddhism we are also taught that the world we see around us is the outcome of our previous thoughts and actions. So, if we are bitterly disappointed we have somewhere in the past made choices that led to this painful disillusionment. Usually, these choices have been deeply unconscious because nobody would knowingly choose a partner who would cheat on them or a boss who exploits them. It is therefore often impossible to pinpoint the exact thought or belief that led to our present problem.

There is however an easier way to correct the attitudes that led to our disappointment and this is to work directly with our chakras. The world that we see around us is directly linked to the state of our chakras and by changing our chakras in meditation we can radically improve our life and find far more love and happiness than we have at the moment.

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