Was Jesus a Black, Jewish, Mexican woman?

Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus.   Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence...

  THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
  1.  His first name was Jesus.
  2.  He was bilingual.
  3.  He was always being harassed by the authorities.

  But then there were equally good arguments that...

  JESUS WAS BLACK
  1.  He called everybody "brother."
  2.  He liked Gospel.
  3.  He couldn't get a fair trial.

  But then there were equally good arguments that...

JESUS WAS JEWISH
  1.  He went into His Father's business.
  2.  He lived at home until he was 33.
  3.  He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.

  But then there were equally good arguments that...

  JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
  1.  He never cut his hair.
  2.  He walked around barefoot.
  3.  He started a new religion.

  But then there were equally good arguments that...

  JESUS WAS IRISH
  1.  He never got married.
  2.  He was always telling stories.
  3.  He loved green pastures.

  But perhaps the most compelling evidence ...

 THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN ...
  1.  He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
  2.  He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT.
  3.  Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.