Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance, a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions:
1. What are two days of the week that begin with "T"?
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered:
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
3. God has two first names, and they are Andy and Howard.
Saint Peter said, "Ok, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected. Technically, your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why do you think God's first name is either Andy or Howard?" Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, and so on."
"Ok then, I give," said Saint Peter. "But what about God's first name?"
Forrest said, "Well, from the song...Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own...And then from the prayer...Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."
Saint Peter let him in without another word.
BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown - but we thank them.