Zen Judaism

Relinquishment will lead to calm and healing in your relationships. If that doesn't work, try small claims court.

Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir until you have attained full Enlightenment. But, first, a little nosh.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook.If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Do not let children play contact sports like football. These only lead to injuries and instill a violent, warlike nature. Encourage your child to play peaceful games, like "sports doctor."

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."


This joke is reprinted from "Zen Judaism: For You a Little Enlightenment" by David M. Bader (Harmony Books, 2002). All rights reserved.
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