10 Things You Never Hear in Church1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
- Contest: Reading Rainbow DVD -- If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
- Exclusive Sneak Peek from Episode 9 of ‘A.D. The Bible Continues’ featuring Mark Burnett and Roma Downey
- Grand Canyon University’s Center for Worship Arts Releases First EP Album, Receives Rave Reviews
- The New Yorker's Actress Profiles: Tilda Swinton, Angela Bassett, Katharine Hepburn, and More
- Exclusive Clip: Wish You Well
- Read the Full Blog
Your Funny Photos
What is this pigeon reading? Click for a closer look and to see more hilarious pictures.
Share Your Religious Funnies
Jokes By Category
Funny Photo Galleries
When Do You Laugh?
Can you laugh when things go wrong?