I Don't Speak DogA guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. He names the dog Einstein and trains Einstein to do a couple of tricks. He can't wait to show Einstein off to his neighbor. A few weeks later when the neighbor finally comes over, the guy calls Einstein into the house, bragging about how smart he is.
The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation. The guy points to the newspaper on the couch and commands "Fetch!"Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits, his tail wagging furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile disappears. He starts to frown and puts on a sour face. Looking up at his master, he whines, "You think this is easy, wagging my tail all the time? Oy vey ... And you think it's easy eating that junk that you call designer dog food? Forget it ... it's too salty and it gives me gas. It's disgusting I tell you!"
The neighbor is absolutely amazed ... stunned. In astonishment, he says, "I can't believe it. Einstein can speak. Your dog actually talks. You asked him to fetch the newspaper and he is sitting on the sofa talking to us."
"I know, I know," says the dog owner. "He's not yet fully trained. He thought I said kvetch."
- Interview: Amy S. Weber of the Bullying Movie "A Girl Like Her"
- The Page of Swords: AGAIN!
- TV: There's Nothing New Under the Sun
- Trailer: Adam Sandler and Peter Dinklage in "Pixels," a Comedy About the Attack of the Aliens Modeled on Classic Video Games
- Actress Speaks Up Against Absurd Hollywood Casting Conventions
- Read the Full Blog
Your Funny Photos
What is this pigeon reading? Click for a closer look and to see more hilarious pictures.
Share Your Religious Funnies
Jokes By Category
Funny Photo Galleries
When Do You Laugh?
Can you laugh when things go wrong?