Extensive research in social sciences shows that one’s sense of control over life is a major factor for psychological well-being and personal drive. Of course, life presents all of us with situations where have limited control over the course of things, but we always have full control over our own actions, thoughts, and feelings. In his seminal book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, Viktor Frankl describes how that very sense of autonomy kept him going in the harsh reality of a concentration camp. Even in the most dire of situations, he still cherished the control he had over his thoughts and feelings, and whatever limited control he had over his own actions. In her early twenties, coach best-selling author and Caroline Miller suffered from an eating disorder. She says that her initial behavior involved blaming it on others, thinking of herself as a victim. But then she realized how much control she has over her own behavior. This realization not only resulted in her recovery but also in a new calling as a coach who helps others take control over their lives. You can’t control the road, the other drivers, or the unexpected oil puddles and potholes, but you can control the bike. Next time you start complaining about others or about “tough luck” try this simple exercise: write five things you can do that are within your full control on a piece of paper. Then select one and act on it. It works for me every time.
5. Let Love Rule»