The Wedding Panner

"The Wedding Planner" is supposed to be a romantic comedy. Jennifer Lopez plays peppy planner Mary Fiore, who can turn any wedding into the perfect romantic event. But when the biggest wedding of the year comes along, she finds she's falling for the groom (Matthew McConaughey). All her foundations are shaken, and she realizes that maybe her own life lacks love.

Along the way we're all supposed to enjoy the spoof of the modern overblown wedding. But it's hard to spoof a spectacle like the Western wedding, which has become a parody of itself. I should know. I was a wedding planner.

I never hated weddings until I spent two years herding people up the aisle. In fact, I hadn't really thought much about marriage or weddings before I began helping happy couples plan their perfect day. I felt rather indifferent, to be honest. I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding, but I had never sat around collecting things for my "wedding file."

That has all changed. Now I cringe every time I receive an invite. (Sorry, Cindy, Libby, Andrea, and Holly!) These events have become far removed from their true purpose. They have come to be about romance, which is frilly and light, not commitment, which is hard work. Couples spend more time these days talking about the wedding than they do about the marriage. I was relieved when my best pal from high school took the money her dad had offered for her wedding and used it as a down payment on her house instead.

I fell into wedding planning by chance. I needed some extra cash to help pay for graduate school. So, when the opportunity arose to help coordinate wedding space and services for the university chapel, I leapt like a bride over the threshold.

The dark side of being a wedding planner comes, of course, when the romance falls apart. The white cotton gloves come off, and all parties involved come out swinging. How many times did I answer the phone to find a sobbing ex-bride-to-be wailing that there would be no wedding? How many times did a fiancé call trying to collect a deposit that was in the name of his one-time significant other? More times than I'd like to count. Our contract stated that deposits wouldn't be returned within 30 days of the event, but there is nothing in this world that evokes so much pathos as a dumped bride on the other end of the line.

Continued on page 2: »