2016-06-30
"Disclaimer: This book is for entertainment purposes only, so lighten up, girlfriend!" astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein cautions in the book's introduction. And she delivers, for this is a wonderfully funny book, aimed at "'fems,' 'butches,' 'lipstick lesbians,' 'drag kings,' and women who refuse to be labeled (like those confounded Aquarians)."

Much of the book contains standard, albeit fall-on-the-floor humorous, astrological projections: Lichtenstein touches on how each sign meshes with various careers, personality traits, lifestyles, family relationships, and of course, luvvvvv. In this last respect, "Herscopes" is racier than other books in the horoscope genre, speaking openly and graphically about sex. Virgos, for example, belie their virginal and somewhat stodgy stereotype by being "vixens under the sheets if you ever want to give them a taste," somewhat counterbalancing their annoying tendency to "kvetch, kvetch, kvetch." Aquarians (whom Lichtenstein alternately calls "Aqueerians") are "cold fish in bed," while Sagittarians' "ample horsey thighs can wrap around just about anyone."

Lichtenstein reveals how each sign might relate to a gay identity (honest, carefree Sags come out early to family because they can't abide deception, while secretive Scorpios make the author wonder "whether their parents truly know everything about them"). Each chapter concludes with the motherlode of important information: how the various signs get along with each other. Some relationships are astrological disasters waiting to happen; the Leo-Leo partnership is so star-crossed that the author suggests getting a pet instead, though "two Lesbian Libras make a jolly pair of bookends indeed."

Lichtenstein's tongue-in-cheek, tongue-almost-everywhere astrological projections make for a bawdy but witty guide to girl-meets-girl.

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