Is Gossip Good?

Yes! When done with a sense of fairness, it's parsing right from wrong, good behavior from bad.


03/11/2011 11:32:02 PM

I agree with "Camilla4". As soon as I read that the guy immediately began setting up rules, then didn't call till the last minute, red flags went up. I've been around guys that act like that. They are very a very disconcerting way. Steer clear! Those two words are the only gossip I'd pass on about such a guy.


09/15/2005 01:31:57 PM

No. The person is not given a chance to defend themselves. What you describe is not really gossip. More like therapy. Be impeccable in your word and never assume anything. Most of the time gossip is not productive and a waste of precious time. The world is full of interesting things to discuss.


06/06/2005 11:39:27 AM

GOSSIP>>Idle talk about other people's affairs; one who discusses the private affairs of others, To tell idle tales. (webster new American dictionary 1962) I think it depends on what, how, where, & bad: To carry tales, is very bad when u are just trying to hurt someone. Private things told to u is gossip because u will put your opinion with it. Have u ever tried to talk to your friends without saying one thing about someone. MY friends and I did once. At frist we didn't know what to talk about. Temptation is the sorce, this is life, It can be wrong and sometimes good. (I think)


03/02/2005 08:29:47 AM

Gossip is not a good habit. It can be very destructive and many times out of proportion when passed around. Exaggerated as it goes its way. Keep your business to yourself and don't be part of the local gossip.


01/06/2005 05:07:29 AM

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I got an impression that Harry might be a dangerous guy. Laying down serious rules, then getting someone off balance by not calling and demanding that everything be kept secret can be an early sign of the kind of guy who physically or mentally abuses women. First thing guys like that do is isolate their victims. If I were in that woman's situation, darn right I'd want to talk about what happened. It might be a matter of safety.


12/08/2003 02:39:09 AM

Harry wanted this relationship to be kept private - I don't believe that this request was compromised by Eleana when she confided in her friend. It was, however, compromised when the author chose to share this little tale with the rest of the group - obviously, if Eleana had wanted them all to know, she would have told them herself. So in telling the others, the author, more than anything else, betrayed her friend's confidence. Unless, of course, Eleana had taken this characteristic of her friend's into account when she told her about Harry. After all, if the author knows her friends, it is to be expected that her friends know her as well. At the end of the day, I believe that if you take everything with a pinch of salt (that is, don't form judgements based on hearsay), gossip is really harmless. So, I guess whether gossip is good or bad really depends on the people doing the gossipping.


12/07/2003 08:02:39 PM

Gossip is just idle chattering. Most people who gossip just do it to see if they can get a rise out of the person they are gossiping about. I was always told that if I did not have anything good and truthful to say then just keep quiet. People who gossip sometimes forget that their gossiping can hurt a person's reputation, especially if that person is not known very well. People in this day and age have a tendicy to believe everything they hear, whether is it true or not.


12/06/2003 10:41:52 AM

There is no better place to gage where we are in our spiritual life than in the workplace where often ego's and power struggles arise. Gossip is nothing more than a way for those who partake to overcome there feelings of insecurity, powerlessness, and the illusion of control. As much as it makes my ears hurt when I hear it, I am only left with one thing to do and that is to pray for those who do it. They are obviously feeling bad about themselves and the only way they know how to feel better is the illusion of gossiping about others and "there" downfalls. If I can step back, seperate the gossip behavior from the person, and pray for them then I am practicing spiritual principles. For me this is spiritual growth and a gift.


10/02/2003 10:54:36 PM

Gossip is usually idle chatter about rumors and such; most of which are only half-truths. Therefore, it amounts to slander. Slander is a sin ladies and gentleman. It really isn't nice to talk about other people. You do not know how it will affect them. Gossip gets back to the individual on most occasions, and it hurts them. Hurting other people is not what God intended for us to do. We are supposed to love our neighbor. this includes everyone. When you have hurt them, even inadvertantly, you have wronged them. The best thing is to not say anything about them at all. There are many other things to talk about. Try the Bible. God loves it when we discuss his Word. God Bless You all.


09/29/2003 03:13:28 PM

My first question after reading about Harry & Eleana was "Why would she ever agree to meet him in the first place?" Obviously all the rules he set down doomed any chance of a relationship between the two of them. But I do think that Eleana should have discussed this privately with her friend - and not in a group.


05/28/2003 01:00:55 AM



05/28/2003 12:56:09 AM



11/11/2002 01:13:38 AM

In my opinion, gossiping is the waste of ones own life in an effort to rewind other people's life and relive it.


11/10/2002 04:00:43 PM

We all know men tend to believe in very different values, all gossip apart. I think Harry's behaviour totally justifies all that can have been said about him by Eleana and Laurie.


11/09/2002 12:45:55 AM

The first thing that came to mind when I read both of their articles was that Harry was being controlling. He told Eleana that she couldn't discuss her own life with her friends. Very controlling men often turn abusive, whether physically or emotionally, and still appear charming and witty. Harry's first statements to Eleana, before they'd ever even had a date, were quite telling about him. I think it is completely appropriate that Eleana bounce this information off her friends for feedback. Sometimes, when we are in the middle of a situation, we cannot see it clearly. For her friends to discuss it among themselves may be gossip. We do learn from each other, we have to. It includes, but is not limited to, people in bad relationships getting a wake up call from their friends saying, "This is not a healthy relatonship. Get out." Back before the average person could afford to see a therapist, talking to friends was the only way to gain insight (however misguided that might be) into our lives.


06/26/2001 07:26:58 AM

Harry's demand is clearly his way of controlling Eleana. He lacks the self-confidence to assume the best about himself, so he assumes the worst about others. Tom says Eleana has insured that the failure of the romance is Harry's fault. Harry really is at fault by trying to control Eleana from the start. She didn't have to say a word. Does Tom really think that Harry's is a good attitude with which to enter a relationship? Tom insists that the group honor Harry's request, but doesn't think Eleana is deserving of the right to talk about her life with her friends. The guys forget that he sun doesn't rise and set on either of them. When women talk about the men in their lives, it's part of a greater discussion on where their lives are going, benchmarking and brainstorming about where they've been, where they want to go. Tom ignores the fact that men do the same thing. So we can assume one other thing about Harry: He can dish it out but he can't take it.


06/06/2001 10:29:39 PM

When somebody declares without prompting that they don't want something "played out" in public, I'd worry that they had plans that were unsavory too. Sure, they may not actually have anything bad in mind, but it's such an odd thing to be said that yes, I'd want to bounce my impression off of others... But not because I want to drag the person down in gossip. Rather because I want to be sure that this person is not an *unsafe* person to be around. They may be fine. I may be paranoid. That is why I would check with others. My instincts generally serve me well. That's why I would *warn others*. I don't think they're being unreasonable here. They didn't lynch him. They just discussed his behavior. --Ember--


05/08/2001 07:49:24 PM

Gossip is mostly one person projecting something that they do not accept about themselves on another. The word "gossip" has a negative connotation to most. Making "observations" on the other hand, in a manner or effort to try to learn something or eventually determine how to help someone, is another thing. I bet if these women had to face this man again they would all feel an underlying guilt about all the "gossiping" they had done. Everybody has a right to gossip though.


03/23/2001 02:54:47 PM

The premise to this side of the debate is wrong. The gossiping women assume they know why Harry did as he did (or didn't) do. They are putting a motive into his head that they have created, without any idea (or interest!!) whether it's even remotely true. They are passing judgement based on an attitude of their own. How can you possibly judge right from wrong when you have no idea what the action entailed?


03/20/2001 08:16:30 AM

"Judge not, that you be not judged, For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you sure, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew: 1-3,5


05/03/2000 07:15:16 PM

Amen again! I will try to remember that the next time I'm at the water cooler. :)


03/17/2000 10:15:25 PM



02/20/2000 09:05:33 PM

The Buddhist concept of "right speech" would seem to apply here... right speech mean to say only things that are both truthful *and* beneficial. If it's truthful, but will serve no good to say it, then just don't. It's a simple concept. Unfortunately, simplicity is lost on most people.